Friday, October 30, 2009

False Start

ANON of 30 October you are quite right. They have tried a start on the ACC competitive event of the marathon paper shuffle. Unfortunately there was a false start and they got called back.

The penalty was to cut a leg off of half the competitors. I believe some are still running a three-legged race.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009


Is it just me or does anyone else find customer satisfaction surveys (as a customer) quite unsatisfying?

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Cricket Genius?

The focus is on Daniel Vettori who has now shouldered extra responsibility with the departure of the Black Caps coach. All part of a consolidated effort to strengthen our international cricket success we are told. And so perhaps Cricket NZ have let slip their cunning plan.

If they can now convince the International Cricket Board to move to the one a side game then Daniel Vettori can be selector, coach, captain, player and team. Then our domination of world cricketwill begin.

Friday, October 23, 2009


I knew John Ralston Saul was good but I didn't realise how good.

I'm not usually given over to enthusiasm for prophecy but how about this prescient piece from Voltaire's Bastards - 1993 First Vintage Books edition:

"If the scientific-administrative structure were somehow to be won over to the Greens, it would be just as secretive, retentive and sure of itself as ever. From the self-evident truths of nuclear energy as a beneficial social good, we would pass to the self-evident truth of generalised nondevelopment."

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Competition anyone?

So, they're going to open up the Accident Compensation Commission to competition. A novel idea but will it really work? Obviously the plan is to sell the TV rights, but do they really have the popular events?

They've got the red letter events obviously, the marathon paper shuffle and the queue jump but do they have the complete package? Not having any sprint events is a problem. In fact there are no speed events at all. Plenty of hoop jumping and pedalling backwards but I'm not sure that drowning in red tape is an event, per se.

And it doesn't help that everything must be done in triplicate. This will save on replays, obviously, but how many times does one really want to watch an injured person disappear under a red sea of tape. Even the red letter events won't stand up here. Who will want to watch the marathon paper shuffle a second time let alone a third.

No, a novel idea it might be but I just can't see Sky Sports beating down their door with that big offer. The Comedy Channel, though, there's a chance!

Monday, October 19, 2009

Apologies anyone

Well quite appropriately the boys at the centre of the Nazi photo problem have apologised.

The RSA properly interpreted the boys actions as "profoundly ignorant". While the Auckland Grammar School principal is reported as describing their actions as immature and unthinking.

What's the purpose of education again?

Sunday, October 18, 2009

The truth hurts

Again you couldn't make this stuff up.

This helpful world map relevant to some World Bank activity has a small window at the bottom right of the screen (for no obvious reason) that duplicates the North African region (in miniature) and completely obscures New Zealand.

Well no-one can find us on a map anyway.

You couldn't make this stuff up

This is very funny. Unfortunate, but funny.

The "Different Voices" website on helpfully advises that "The Disability Mailing List" has been disabled. Some people have no luck.

Cow Radicals

It was only matter of time. It was reported yesterday morning on the Herald website that 30 cows were blocking State Highway 1 on the Kapiti coast.

It was really only a matter of time before the Bovine Popular Front took to the streets. Cows are part of a shadowy element of farm animals colloborating with humans to destroy the world. Already accused of destroying rainforests and decamping their non-farm resident cousins they are now implicated in global warming.

It is obvious that such a dangerous animal might react badly to such negative publicity. The SH1 incident looks like an isolated incident, now under control. The cows have numbers, though. Large numbers. All I can say is that it's lucky that they don't have arms!

Give Key a break

I notice that National has been on the ropes a bit over the Rugby World Cup TV rights. Some commentators have also given Key a stern warning about getting serious about managing the politics. But I think we need to give him a break.

The poor bugger needs to think of his own future. Despite riding high on popularity at the moment this could all evaporate by the next election. This could be a one term National government and then Mr Key will almost certainly get the chop. After all if we lose the World Cup they're gone regardless of what they've done in the meantime. Then what would he do. He can't go back to the finance industry. Even if that sector is back up and running by then Key's had a taste of the limelight now. How can he go back?

No, he needs to keep his options open and here is his stroke of genius. By keeping things pleasantly comical he just might be able to stay popular for four years. And if not? A career in parroting out top ten lists? After all that's pretty much his job description now.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Maori TV: World Cup genius

I think the people at Maori TV are on to something. They at least have applied some genuine competitive intelligence to the World Cup coverage bid and they’re almost there. The missing stroke of genius comes from a probing comment from a visiting Australian. He wasn’t being vexatious either, he had a good question; “Is New Zealand prepared for the prospect of losing the World Cup on home soil?” As the astute Australian pointed out he was in New Zealand after a (rare) Bledisloe cup loss and we were almost suicidal then.

I don’t think we are prepared for a home World Cup loss and Maori TV have the perfect answer. All World Cup coverage during the event should be in Maori and we should all have fun trying to understand what they’re trying to say rather than watch the games. We should go to the matches and really enjoy the spectacle and the party. We can then focus on being very, very good hosts to the lovely people that will be visiting. By the end of the tournament we will have had a very good time and we won’t know what happened.

If it then turns out that we have won then Maori TV can licence the replay rights at a huge profit and we can watch the whole thing on TV and really enjoy it again.

If we don’t win, well then we can do what we should have done in 2007. Pretend it never happened.